Michael Martin yesterday denied claims he knew about the illegal charging of pensioners over 70 in nursing homes.He also denied opposition claims he attended a meeting this time last year when the problem was raised."I got to the meeting at the very end is my recollection".

Your recollection?Sounds like his memory's gone!I think he ought to be put in a home himself.And he can take plenty of his party colleagues with him,I say!

Yesterday,the European Parliament approved funds of over £60 million to help the NI peace process.

What I'd like to know is,if it fails,do they get their money back?

Complaintsagainst doctors are up 30% in the past five years.

I'm not surprised.It seems like the price of going to the doctor has risen by 30%!

The Taoiseachhas said he does not expect that the issue of the three Irishmen convicted on charges of terrorism in Colombia will have any impact on the NI peace process.

Well that puts my mind at ease!If Bertie says everything's OK it must be true!